Glorious Noise - Rock and roll can change your life.
Est. 2001
Rock and roll can change your life.

I truly do love rock and roll

November 5, 2001

Okay, that's it. I can no longer defend her. In a cleverly annotated transcript of a dial-an-interview with Britney Spears, Jim DeRogatis reveals that she doesn't know where Elvis is from and doesn't know who originally made "I Love Rock N' Roll" famous. In case you're wondering, the answers are Tupelo, Mississippi (although Memphis would be acceptable, and even preferred by some) and Joan fucking Jett and the fucking Blackhearts. I could've forgiven her thinking Elvis was from Las Vegas. Maybe she just misspoke, and who really cares anyway? I think it's really cool that she's dressed in a white bedazzled jumpsuit for her HBO special in Las Vegas. That's fine. That's clever. It's cute. I like it.

But don't fuck with Joan Jett.

If I were in charge, I would publicly execute anyone who thought that "I Love Rock N' Roll" was a Pat Benatar song. I'm serious. That would be the Law, and the Law would be very strictly enforced. I might even make people answer that question before they could get their drivers license, vote, or open a bank account.

I realize that Ms. Jett did not write that song, but it's her song as much as "Jailhouse Rock" or "Viva Las Vegas" belong to Elvis. And Pat Benatar sucks. If you've ever heard her cover of "Just Like Me" by Paul Revere and the Raiders, you know I'm 100% right about this. We've discussed this issue before, and it sickens me to have to acknowledge it myself. Oh Britney, my Britney, why hast thou forsaken me?

I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favorite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me

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Comments

I know it can be hard when you realize you've been duped, but hang tough (as NKOTB would say) and know that you can still love Madonna. Alas, your Britney is the idiot we all knew she was.

, Nov 5, 2001 4:39PM

What's most disturbing is the way the "interview" was conducted. Each journalist gets one question and no follow-up? That's not a fucking interview. She didn't even answer the last question, which was certainly the one they all wanted to ask. Britney must be stopped...for the good of America.

, Nov 5, 2001 4:50PM

Britney needs to buy the Best of the Runaways, ditch her boyfriend, and start following in Joan Jett's footsteps, starting with that boy by the record machine. Or else she needs to stop talking music altogeather.

, Nov 5, 2001 5:21PM

She needs to stop talking music altogether.And quit the business, too. Why haven't The Donnas kicked this chick's ass yet?

, Nov 5, 2001 5:33PM

can we offer up britney as a virgin sacrifice?

, Nov 5, 2001 5:34PM

Nice idea, Fred... but - well, you know where I'm going with this...She just happens to be on the cover of the EW I just got in my mailbox... Let's see what she has to say for herself this time.

, Nov 5, 2001 5:56PM

Damn. I didn't know she could talk.

, Nov 6, 2001 8:29AM

Jake, you're always the last one to admit the truth. She's a total product of the record company, made up by a team of spin-meisters, producers, managers and ad execs. She is not now, has never been and will never be anything close to Madonna! Madonna knew how to play the game. She created, controlled and managed her "product". Spears is nothing but a corporate Barbie Doll. You just can't resist the girls, Jake!

, Nov 6, 2001 2:00PM

Jake, try this Britney Quiz.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/quiz/newsid_1622000/1622159.stm

, Nov 6, 2001 3:59PM

hey! benatar wasn't all THAT bad, for a bucktoothed midget anyway... neal geraldo (is he ike to pat's tina?) is a fine producer and pat obeys him well. Of course, JJ would have just kicked him in the balls and done what she wanted - a true rockerchick.

, Nov 7, 2001 10:43AM

Uh oh! It looks like the pedagogues over at Focus on the Family have deemed Britney's new album to be a little too objectionable. Click here for their review.I've been trying to set up an interview with their music critic, but I've had no luck so far...

, Nov 13, 2001 12:14PM

While we're on the topic of "I love rock n roll".
The song was originally recorded by The Arrows in 1975, produced by Mickie Most.
http://www.geocities.com/arrowmaniax/
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/arrows/from/glono
Britney Spears knew that Joan Jett, not Pat Benetar, recorded a version of "I love rock n roll". She was being sarcastic! Imagine that ! Yes, the girl has claws AND a brain. Big fuggin' suprix.
As far as Joan Jett kicking Neil Geraldo in the balls. Nei's a pretty tough guy. A Wiseguy Goombah. I doubt it would happen. Not literally, or especially musically. Neil is the biz as a player, and a hard ass as a guy.
As far as Joan Jett doing anything she wants.
Grow up !
Actually Joan Jett does exactly what Kenny Laguna, her Svengali with an iron grip manager says Proved by her recording KENNY'S song "Crimson and Clover" as the follow up to "I love rock n roll".

C.E.

, Nov 15, 2002 5:16PM

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