MC Ryan Adams Raps

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Jake
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MC Ryan Adams Raps

Postby Jake » Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:42 pm

This is too good to be true:

http://www.ryan-adams.com/RyanAdams.html

Stereogum's got the mp3.

And the lyrics:

Awwwwwww shit.
Look who got a website.

That's right.

Dot com.
What the fuck.

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

New York City it's up!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Staten Island.

Ancient Sumerians
Anna Sarriss...
Ohhh shit.

Well if I could get around to my rhymes
Then I could destroy galaxies
of alt.country wannabees
With a bottle of whisky
And a wizard and a mime
Until then?
Dot com motherfucker!

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

New York City!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Staten Island
Yo!

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Anna Serris ohhhh

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Anna Serris you out of this world
like ancient Sumerians
apparently we came from ancient Sumerians
they came down and gave the world a bunch of technology
because they wanted to clone themselves and that was
and maybe be on the Earth
and get some some stuff that they needed
for their planet
but then they had to split
so they went to another planet
we stayed here
and now we just yell at each other
and have milkshakes
Hi Anna

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Awww shit Anna Serris

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

You a g-g-g-g-genius

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Kevin Bacon was a cock!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Well up these streets are digital roads
Goin into your mind like if you think it was your nose
and your nose was sucking coke and drinksin E
Trippin' too hard and gotta be
What was a dezzin Kevin Bacon
Makin Waterworld 3
They ain't even made 2 yet
Yo that was Costner partner

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

kevincostner.com what the fuck?

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

two thousand and three

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

updated by witches

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

This website's updated by witches
witches
witches n' me
weird witches
roll about and leap
with their hair on fire
and their nails long
and they're screaming at animals and people
and they're going crazy
and they need to take a break from recording

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

Aww shit - it's a long record.

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

c-c-c-c-c-c-critics

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker

One and a half stars yeah!

CHORUS: Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Aww shit
One and a half stars
3 records sold
my record went balsa wood
in Indio or someplace that I'm not from
you know what I'm saying man?
And then the guy goes "This record is very long and sappy.
Basically he's alternative country but crappy."

CHORUS: Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor
Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor
Welcome to RyanAdams.com motherfucker
Mix masters please report to the dance floor

Posted by: El Payo at September 27, 2006 4:39 PM

I'm just liking this guy more and more the goofier he gets.

D. Phillips
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Postby D. Phillips » Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:06 pm

Kevin Bacon was a cock!


Uh oh. Calling Bacon out like Tupac to Biggie. This is going to get ugly, yo.

BloodshotBaby
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Postby BloodshotBaby » Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:12 pm

damn...never thought i'd see the day.

that was as far from alt. country as you can get, i think...

awesome.

i don't even feel the need to actually enter his website now.

grounded5am
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Postby grounded5am » Wed Sep 27, 2006 11:47 pm

pitchfork is ripping apart ryan adams now. it is so funny. here's the article:



Hey, Ryan Adams: STFU
You guys, the internet is so terrible. Today comes word that Ryan Adams has relaunched his website with a comical new Battlestar Galactica-style interface, soundtracked entirely by the tousled-haired singer/songwriter's own horrific beats and rhymes. Yes, he is rapping. In what is without question one of thee worst aural assaults of the year, Adams subjects visitors to no less than four minutes of a novelty hip-hop track that, at its best, consists of him shouting "NEW YORK CITY!", and at worst, has him putting on his best impression of a rappin' witch. There's also a fascinating song about a drunk Santa. It's a classic Adams wtf moment, a blatent publicity stunt we imagine he feels is unassailable since it's pretty much harmless and is just him goofing off and being his usual obnoxious self. You know what? No. This is basically criminal negligence. Who knows a lawyer?


here's the link to the article: http://pitchforkmedia.com/page/news/Hey ... STFU#38821

Jake
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Postby Jake » Thu Sep 28, 2006 1:21 am

grounded5am wrote:pitchfork is ripping apart ryan adams now. it is so funny.

Not that funny. One wouldn't think Schreiber would be so humorless. If it's so terrible, why subject all of his readers to something so horrific?

And hey, Schreiber, "blatant" is spelled with two a's. Hire a proofreader! </petty&humorless>

booker
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Postby booker » Thu Sep 28, 2006 9:37 am

I thought this was pretty damn funny. Rhyming "sappy" with "crappy." Then, the thing about the critics and one-and-a-half stars.

grounded5am
Edie Brickell fan
Posts: 1979
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 9:04 pm

Postby grounded5am » Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:03 am

well i think the whole situation is rather funny. classic adams moment.

worpswede
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Postby worpswede » Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:26 am

What's funny is that he has a link to the Dokken website on the links section.

vitas
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Postby vitas » Thu Sep 28, 2006 2:05 pm

grounded5am wrote:pitchfork is ripping apart ryan adams now. it is so funny. here's the article:

It's a classic Adams wtf moment, a blatent publicity stunt we imagine he feels is unassailable since it's pretty much harmless and is just him goofing off and being his usual obnoxious self. You know what? No. This is basically criminal negligence. Who knows a lawyer?



blatant publicity stunt... on a website... set up to provide tour information and to sell merch and concert tickets? hmmm... and all he's doing is being self-efacing and goofy. damn him. where's his integrity? what a shill! next thing you know he'll have like 5 banner ads for american apparel on his main page.

i'm all for ryan bashing when it's appropriate... you know, like directly insulting fans, whether on-line or on stage. though, this "stunt" is actually pretty fun in an off-beat stupid way. i got a chuckle out of the rap and had a chance to play something pretty much like missle command deeper into the website. it was a good way to kill 15 mins.

on the other hand when i went over to read some reviews and check out some of the features on pitchfork, i was bored due by the uptight and somber tone of all the writing. whatever.

the internet's a big place. if you don't like adam's website put on the parental control and keep the world safe for uptight indie rock hipsters.

me, i'm giong back to get my fill of that missle command knock-off and listen to some of the other goofy tracks deeper into the site.

Tim
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Postby Tim » Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:39 pm

Pitchfork is always the "Debbie Downer"! haha

We all know they hate Ryan Adams, but yet they always seem to be the first to tell us what he is up to and then they shit on it. I don't think they have ever said anything positive about him before (though I could be wrong).


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