Why Billy Joel Sucks

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Sugarcubes Forever
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Why Billy Joel Sucks

Postby Sugarcubes Forever » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:03 pm

Nice article at Slate that attempts to explain the complete awfullness of Billy Joel.

And I think I've done it! I think I've identified the qualities in B.J.'s work that distinguish his badness from other kinds of badness: It exhibits unearned contempt. Both a self-righteous contempt for others and the self-approbation and self-congratulation that is contempt's backside, so to speak. Most frequently a contempt for the supposed phoniness or inauthenticity of other people as opposed to the rock-solid authenticity of our B.J.


I grew up with my parents record collection in the 1970s. My mother was a big fan of Elton John, Niel Diamond, Barry Manilow, John Denver and Billy Joel.

Elton John, I get. He's an icon. I can't stand his soundtracks and tacky crap that began in the 80s. But it's hard to argue with "Rocket Man."

Neil Diamond. Only a ignorant fool would argue that Neil Diamond doesn't deserve some props. He's done it all. Jewish Elvis. Heartthrob. Movie star. His songs are anthems to a pop cultural AM radio history of the 60s and 70s.

Barry Manilow (I don't get him). He's at least comfortable in his schlock and rayon puffy shirts, though. He's a swarmy, less hip version of Tom Jones. Ok, some of us girls like that kind of thing.

John Denver was one of the greatest song writers of his generation. At least the man was humble.

Billy Joel........Ugh! I cannot fucking tolerate Billy Joel. Why? Why? Please, somebody defend BJ so I can spit in your eye! From that dumb album cover for "Glass Houses" to his horrible video for "Uptown Girl," BJ is pop music's fingers on a blackboard.

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Postby Sven Killer Robot Spacema » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:35 pm

For the better part of the last 13 years I've worked for radio stations that play a lot of Billy Joel. I've been able to seperate my distaste for The Piano Man from my job. The people that like Billy Joel aren't like you and me. If they're guys they didn't roll around in the dirt wrestling with their friends and get their heads slammed off the pavement. If they're women they probably really love their dads. People who like Billy Joel are just "nice." Howevr if you can appreciate "Levon sells cartoon balloons in town"--ya might have gotten your head slammed off the pavement or maybe thought your dad was an asshole from time to time. By the way my dad is not an asshole--but I got my head slammed off the pavement a few times. May I add that I fuckin' love Air Supply. Seriously. Those guys rule.

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Postby Jake » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:36 pm


russ
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Postby russ » Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:57 am

Billy Joel's stuff from the first 10 or so years of his career is great.
"After The Fire" and everything that came after it does suck though.

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Postby stickman45 » Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:10 pm

Sven Killer Robot Spacema wrote:The people that like Billy Joel aren't like you and me. If they're guys they didn't roll around in the dirt wrestling with their friends and get their heads slammed off the pavement. If they're women they probably really love their dads. .


This might be my favorite quote ever.

For serious.

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Postby Lep » Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:24 pm

I find him irritating as well.

The reason people like his songs - they are memorable and catchy - only makes them more irritating, like jingles you can't get out of your head.

If he had stuck to "buy this gum, it's really tasty," all would been right.


Sven Killer Robot Spacema wrote:The people that like Billy Joel aren't like you and me.


And for the most part, with some weird exceptions, they are people who don't care about music.

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Postby Jake » Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:36 pm

You guys probably hate Steve Miller, too...

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Postby quasarwutwut » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:08 pm

One of my favorite/least favorite count-ins of all time, from Matter of Trust
: "One... two... a one two three four!" It's insane that by counting off the song so... uhm... so gratingly? pretentiously? stabbing-in-the-eyes-ingly? that he made it his own. Seriously, if you grab a mic and count off like he does everyone knows immediately that it's BJ, you don't have to sing any of the song (nor should you). Even his counting is annoying. Still, I crack up every time I hear it.

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Postby worpswede » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:45 pm

russ wrote:Billy Joel's stuff from the first 10 or so years of his career is great.
"After The Fire" and everything that came after it does suck though.

Check yourself. The first album he did with Atilla in the late 60's was awful. And I don't know anything by Joel called "After The Fire."
Joel has always been a shitty little poseur who can't decide what genre he wants to tackle. Then he has the nerve to bitch about how the critics don't love him. Fucking dude can't even find the love of himself, which may account for his suicide attempts, failed marriages, and booze problems. Then he sacks the very band that brought him the success that he wanted...what a fucking douche. The ultimate form of pouting came when River Of Dreams failed commercially and critically, after which he declared that he would never make a pop album again. Big fucking baby, like I give a shit. But he still manages to trot out the pop shit for overpriced shows with Elton John whenever he needs some extra cash. Dude, if you hate the shit so much then why do you always fall back on it? Keep doing your classical shit. Eat away your kid's trust fund(s). Man up and dig in your own wallet for your personal and creative failures.
I started hating Billy Joel right around The Nylon Curtain when he decided that he wanted to be taken more seriously after growing tired of his Tin Pan Alley bullshit.
Steve Miller is in a totally different league than this piece of shit.

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Postby Sugarcubes Forever » Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:51 pm



Ahhhhh, my eyes!

WTF? When I see his old videos I want to vomit. Not because of the cheap production value. That was typical back then for most acts. But because he looks and acts onstage like a self righteous prick. He's one of those guys that doesn't look cool or even pose cool, but he prances around like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread.


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