American Idol Season 9

This is the place where you can vent whatever's on your mind. Feel free to go off on extended rants or brief blurbs about whatever's rocking your world.

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Jake
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Postby Jake » Wed Mar 17, 2010 1:06 pm

Voted for Crystal and Siobhan. Did you notice Siobhan's "Gashlycrumb Tinies" tattoo? Badass.

I can't believe how terrible all of the dudes were, and in general what an absolutely bad idea it was to have a Rolling Stones week.

Sven Killer Robot Spacema
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Postby Sven Killer Robot Spacema » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:09 pm

Father Flanagan wrote:That jezebel Keisha is on tonight. You dont wanna know what she told me in confession..and it wasn't with two white fellas either.


You better brush up on yer floozies Father. That's KESHA---no i.

Tim
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Postby Tim » Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:54 pm

Jake wrote:Voted for Crystal and Siobhan. Did you notice Siobhan's "Gashlycrumb Tinies" tattoo? Badass.

I can't believe how terrible all of the dudes were, and in general what an absolutely bad idea it was to have a Rolling Stones week.


I was really hoping Keith would be a mentor. Could you see him sitthing there with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth giving vocal advice to these kids? We would need subtitles.

Jake
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Postby Jake » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:16 pm

Maura Johnston on why Idol sucks this year.

Sven Killer Robot Spacema
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Postby Sven Killer Robot Spacema » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:45 pm

Jake wrote:Maura Johnston on why Idol sucks this year.


This article doesn't shed any new light on why it sucks. One reason it sucks is that there are never any black girls from the inner cities who can really put some stink on it--New York, Philly, Chicago. It also sucks because the days of Celine Dion are over. Not that Celine Dion is the tits but she could sing and so can Kelly Clarkson from the era when Dion was still revelant to pop music. It's the Ttaylor Swift era now where it's more important to be likeable and relatable than have a world class voice. Even a high up guy at Swift's record company addressed a recent controversy by implying that Taylor is not the best singer in the world. He said having that "special something" is more important. So when you go looking for the next Taylor Swift you get a bunch of people who can't sing that well and don't have that "it" factor that makes Swift a star.

Jake
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Postby Jake » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:00 am

They might as well just give it Crystal right now, and stop wasting my time.

Sven Killer Robot Spacema
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Postby Sven Killer Robot Spacema » Thu Apr 01, 2010 1:14 pm

The big story is that Tim Urban has now broken Sanjaya's record as the longest surviving endorsed candidate of votefortheworst.com. Tim has now lasted 7 weeks thanks to teenage girls and "worsters." This is exactly what Idol wanted to avoid this year after the sausage fest last year. In a year when the shoo-in contestant unfortunately looks like a young Kathy Bates , Urban is the big whoop! I actually shouted "YES!" out loud last night when Seacrest sent Didi home. It was a quick camera shot but it looked to me that the other contestants did not extend a hand or hug to Tim as is usually the case. Jealous much you buncha freaks?

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Postby Jake » Thu Apr 01, 2010 1:50 pm

Sven Killer Robot Spacema wrote:Tim has now lasted 7 weeks thanks to teenage girls and "worsters."

He was still in the bottom 2. And face it, he's not that much worse than several of the remaining contestants. Aaron Kelly sucks, Andrew Garcia sucks, Katie Stevens sucks, Lee Dewyze sucks. Seriously. I don't think any of those people are any better than Tim Urban. Plus, Urban's hella cute and has fantastic hair. With that Justin Bieber kid playing "mentor" next week, it pretty much guarantees the high number of tweener girls will keep Tim Urban around for one more week. And why not? Did you see that hair?

Sven Killer Robot Spacema
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Postby Sven Killer Robot Spacema » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:30 pm

Jake wrote:. Seriously. I don't think any of those people are any better than Tim Urban.


Then your arse is sucking rainwater my man...


Michael Slezak, Entertainment Weekly

For weeks, Tim has been squatting at the abandoned building at the corner of Cluelessness and Hubris that's been empty since Kristy Lee Cook vacated it back in season 7. He attempted ''Apologize'' even though its falsetto notes were well beyond his reach. He treated the raunchy ''Under My Thumb'' like a Land Before Time soundtrack selection. So why not choose Anita Baker's ''Sweet Love'' (the smooth-jazz equivalent of a Harlequin novel) and sing it with all the passion and emotional depth of a man reading off an eye chart at the optometrist's office?" -


Zap2It

"Tim on TV: This is like every bad ballad from all three junior high talent shows we participated in. It's just so earnest and completely loses Anita Baker's sexiness. Yikes. Hearing this on TV moved Tim into a tie for worst. Didi was down there by herself, but that was incorrect." -

AV Club

"To his credit I think he improved a little, vocal-wise, towards the second half of the song but he's really the Sanjaya of the season. The judges agreed with me, and got annoyed with him for laughing while they all told him how bad he was. "Why are you laughing?! " Kara implored and while I wrote, "Because he's the devil," Simon said "He's laughing because it doesn't make any difference what we say. You're gonna smile, audience is gonna vote for you and nobody cares and you'll be here next week, so well done." -

StarPulse

"This is exactly what Tim looked and sounded like during this performance. Picture this scenario. Ten old-time villains show up in a black towncar, pull a black bag over Tim’s head, and drive him to an undisclosed location. Once there, they throw him into the basement, shine a white light on him, and tell him, “Sing ‘Sweet Love’ by Anita Baker or we’ll blow your head off.” The performance he would give in that scenario is exactly the performance he gave on ‘Idol’ tonight. A mix of terror, voice cracking, and the occasional good note when he managed to pull himself together briefly. Just a mess. A fun mess to watch, but a mess all the same." -

True/Slant

"Tim acts exactly like what he is: a guy in way over his head. He knows he can’t match up, so why bother? He can’t use the advice he’s given — he’s not going to get better, but he certainly can’t get any worse. So he treats the whole think like a lark. And each week he’s not shown the door, it just gets funnier to him. And if we didn’t have to sit through his vanilla song-stylings, it’d be funny to us, too. But we do, so it isn’t." -

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Postby Jake » Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:02 pm

Have you actually listened to Aaron, Andrew, Katie, and Lee? Those reviews are funny, but I don't need Entertainment Weekly to tell me what to think -- I've heard them and they all suck just as bad as Tim. He's easy to pick on -- because he does indeed suck -- but those others are equally atrocious.

Past seasons have always had a few terrible singers in the top 12, but not this many. We're down to nine people left. And five of them straight up suck. It's nuts.


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