Glorious Noise - Rock and roll can change your life.
Est. 2001
Rock and roll can change your life.

Phantom Planet - Plantom Planet

February 5, 2004

Phantom Planet - Phantom Planet (Epic)

Don't you just want to hate Phantom Planet? I mean, come on, the singer is a Gap model, for Christ's sake! Their last album, The Guest, was a big fat disappointment, with the band insecurely trying to figure out whether they were the next big teen pop combo or a real fucking rock and roll band. While the songs on The Guest seemed like they might have been all right, the production reeked of radio-friendly, major-label polish. Except for that big hit, "California." Now that was a jam! Good old Max Fischer beating the shit out of those drums like he was auditioning for the part of Keith Moon in an upcoming biopic. That was great! I bet they were good live.

Well, somewhere in between that album and this one, Max Fischer quit the band and started calling himself Jason Schwartzman. But who knows what his real name is because he's just another Coppola like Nic Cage and the guy from Rooney. American showbiz dynasty there, yo. You'd think you'd miss his drumming on the new album since that was really the best part of The Guest. But the new drummer hits the drums even harder!

In the top social circles, people who know about these things are whispering that all the songs on Phantom Planet are secretly about how much the singer, Alex Greenwald, resents Schwartzman for quitting the group and allegedly stealing a bunch of the band's cocaine while the rest of the band was sleeping. Just look at the titles: "The Happy Ending," "Badd Business," "Big Brat," "Making a Killing," "You're Not Welcome Here," "Knowitall." That's a lot of bitterness for a bunch of Hollywood pretty boys!

Especially when they made an album that sounds this good. The guitars are bigger and crunchier than ever. The drums are mixed up really loud and they sound monstrous. The vocal levels are where they should be for a band like this, unlike on The Guest where they were up way too loud and everything was too damn clean. This one has some feeling, some presence, some warmth.

Bottom line: if you think the Strokes are the perfect band but you wish that Julian would have some balls and ditch some of the distortion from his vocals (really dude, does it have to be on every song?), you'll like this album.

Advertisement

Comments

I love this album. I bought it just cos "Big Brat" is such a great song, and was pleased to find the rest of the tracks were actually good too. I've totally forgotten about that other Phantom band.

, Feb 8, 2004 6:28PM

3/4 of this "review" is hollywood hearsay and gossip. how 'bout reviewing our band's music?

, Feb 9, 2004 6:49PM

In a venue like this site, "review" can mean a number of different things. He touches upon the music as well as the culture in which it is situated, which is a tradition that dates back to the earliest rock criticism. But by taking that tradition to the internet and allowing the general public to comment as well, GloNo is definitely advancing the field. Notice the Neil Young quote on the left - we don't take ourselves THAT seriously. I haven't heard the album, but if it DOES sound like the Strokes with clean vocals, then I'd say it's a damn fine review. At the least you've gotta admit it has personality, and it does endorse the album, so can't complain there, right?

, Feb 10, 2004 2:11AM

Yeah, I'll second that, Nate. This review makes me at least want to listen to the album. That bit about crunchy guitars really got me.

, Feb 10, 2004 7:56AM

Shecky, make sure you listen to it before you hand over any cash. I'm just sayin'.

, Feb 10, 2004 9:37AM

Personally, I like the new album a lot. Then again, I liked "The Guest" a lot too. So maybe I'm just a Phantom Planet fan.

, Feb 10, 2004 10:25AM

Phantom Planet's complete trashing of its own past is very irritating. There's no question that the record is a bit of a response to their intra-band turmoil, but that doesn't explain why "Happy Ending" sounds EXACTLY like the Strokes. Did I say exactly? I meant fucking exactly. From the arrangement to the production to the way Greenwald sings, minus - as Jake says - a bit of the mic distortion, that song and its brethren have quick cash-in written all over their skinny jeans.

Jake's right about the debut's overly lush production. But despite sounding like a senior project at the Elvis Costello School for Young Songwriters, I enjoyed the album and thought it showed real promise for Phantom Planet. Well, what do you know? For a followup, it was easier to to buy the post-punk starter pack, refuel it with modern rock hooks, and hire Dave Fridmann to stomp on the master tapes with them. Attention groupies! The New and Improved Phantom Planet! Now Featuring Smaller Dicks!

JTL

, Feb 10, 2004 11:01AM

I wouldn't say The Guest was too lush; it was just too clean. Too sanitized. It sounded like a good rock and roll record that had been remixed to sound appropriate on the radio next to the Avrils and Dave Matthewses.

, Feb 10, 2004 11:45AM

I loved The Guest. I saw the band in concert here about almost two summers ago where Greenwald jumped up top the tent during the sweltering hot Wicker Park fest and had to be yanked down by a security guard, but not before coming damn close to falling head first off said tent. This all happened as he was bringing the song "all over again" to a close. It rocked. They were great and I met Schwartzman after the show.

Now fast forward to a month ago when I bought the new album. I was barely able to get through it once. But I will give it another chance after reading this review. What the hell right?

Other then that, Jake I do believe Schwarzman is Jason's real last name. Seeing that he is Talia Shire's son and I believe reading before that Scwartzman was his now deceased father's name.

, Feb 12, 2004 8:08AM

...

ba dum bum?

, Feb 26, 2004 9:55PM

You are gay.

, Mar 5, 2004 8:25AM

There's some really good stuff on this record. It is definitely Strokesy and trendy, though. Can't recommend the expenditure but can say it's a worthwhile listen.

, May 17, 2004 3:06PM

Post a comment

(This is never shown.)



Put a shirt on, hippy.
crazy world 3d xxx sex cartoons yahoo groups adult oriental treasures wholesale account ebay aol free black bbw porn moms shemale lover ffm bdsm mc stories illustrated avatar cartoon porn girl hogtied and machine fucked bestiality cartoons deep color hdmi 13 inch cock bbw huge tits shemale seduction free incest movies teen bikini pic lesbian sucks pussy big dicks and tight pussies girl in stockings riding cock animal abuse statistics fucking tight pussy and tits sexual assault caught on tape first time sex stories largest deep throat anal cum ffm beach teen bikini pics boot virus removal girl in shower videos locate lovers live totally free live sexcams cousin sex wife monster cock best male orgasms gothic lolita bible extra scans sexcam sms first gang bang busty blonde ffm cheerleaders hentai strapon bitch small block chevy head swap hairy young girls tribal horse tattoos lesbians first naughtyallie password login sexy amatuer lingerie photos celebrity frontal nudity listen to extreme - more than words wam orgy gothic bitch granny huge tits black moms id like to fuck filipina chat lesbian hentai dildo articles on red heads fingering caught ladyboy cumshot average size of male penis tiava deep throat skinny amature boy with big cock tranny dick avril paparazzi breast cancer awareness products ebony female ejaculation jessica simpson paparazzi fuck my wife in the ass 235 4018 arp head studs new haven breast enlargement oriental girls having forced sex ffm threesome clip 10000 lovers in one flower ffm racist korean jokes shemale comic jizz on my juggs. com twink gallery moms fuking son gothic make tip up little girl pantyhose free granny with girl gallery deep throat cock sucking monster cum loads preteen boys erect penis mom dildo will she gag on cock free streaming erotic video extreme piercings hentai nurse maid bdsm machine fuck enormous black boobs santa gag hat animal sex clips ass parade review new student orientation manual free gangbang video panties fuck enormous penises 1 gross quantity nylon mesh bag female micro lingerie exotic interracial gay wrestling her first pet sex male nipple torture erotic stories lovers & cheaters scene jizz da pitt giant animals in cartoons ntsc secam dk dvd/vcr player horny fat asian girls in thongs flashing girls moms boy preteens bikini hairy pussy blogs horny united hot cheerleader galleries hairy men sex nipple hair gothic make tip up lesbian licking dildo caught camera nude muscular penis pantyhose glamour filipina model webshots wife bikini tongue ring blowjob bikini taken off slut slave cunt sucking skinny amature boy with big cock sluts in boots chubby busty teen porn sister masturbated my penis naked black bitches sesame street orgy young bisexual boy horny police women bare bottom spanking clips sex caught on security cameras free mature hairy pussy videos of girls wearing thongs shaved twat granny fingering school girls pussy women using sex machines young cute japanese guy first gay sex 24/7 ebony sex cute young gay boys traci lords porn toon bestiality helen white slut interracial pinellas county schools soft cocks shemale orgy herbal remedy stop smoking nipple sucking milk lactating human teens showers grants pass daily courier newspaper ass master children's cowboy boots 15 year old girls in bikinis virginia breast enhancement female hormones for male granny black sex tiny teen monster cock handwriting recognition tablet pcs education school student celeb vids malezia sucking cock 12 x 14 large area rugs paparazzi filth sample clips hot koreans squirting boots dora the explorer naked massage sexy lesbian lingerie free amatuer porn videos xxx ass sexcam review free twink nudes boys gothic myspace birthday wishes large heating pad fuck me in the ass boat orgy ladyboy cumshot girl riding her lover cum in my mouth movies abnormally large nipples ebony caramel body glove flex ass worship bree olsen video stripping kill the bitch moms teaching teens how to have sex carnival brazil sex free nurse video porn free male bondage